Sparkle

Hannah-5

Sparkle.

Last Monday, I was off to an anxious, stressed and emotional start to finals week.

I wandered to a local coffee shop to flip through emails, complete a paper and hopefully relax a bit. After my brief encounter with my almond chai, I hustled home in full stride with music blasting in my earphones. I paused before I entered my home. I have a new neighbor. A new shop by my house. A sweet boutique. A stellar owner. Her face is warm, hugs inviting and smile authentic. Fine, I will walk inside for a hug. I bee lined for her arms, avoiding eye contact entirely. I nestled into the perfect hug, and my glasses quickly steamed by my hot tears. “Is everything okay?” Caroline asked. “I am stressed. Anxious. Emotional.”  Caroline quickly ushered me to a comfortable seat and handed me a candy cane. Armed with motherly solace, she is equipped for anything.

Before we began conversing to discuss my emotional state, she said, “I just want you to know how loved you are.” Caroline met my mother this past weekend, and they adored each other. “I saw the way your mother looked at you Hannah, she loves you unconditionally. You are so loved.” I accepted her sweet words of encouragement but trembled as I recalled school’s harsh reality, “I am genuinely fearful of failing an exam.” I sniffled, holding back tears in fear of damaging a fresh coat of make up. Caroline’s words were perfect. Her comfort continued as she repeatedly told me, “You are more than a grade.”

Why is it that love is reassuring? The power of love never ceases to astound me. As she comforted me, I glanced at my tattoo, mom’s words whispering, “I love you,” in the midst of my anger with temporal frustrations. “Hannah, you are more than a grade,” Caroline did not stop with her encouragement. She continued to build me back up, “You sparkle Hannah. We all know it. We see you and you sparkle.” I do not know if I smiled, teared up or just shut my eyes in acceptance of this genuine love. At some point in the conversation I just laid my head on Caroline’s lap, like a dog begging for a head rub. Caroline carefully patted my back, her kind words flowing, and love filled my heart to the brim. The support of her words and touch, enabled me to forget the possibility of failure.

Throughout the morning, previous to my encounter with Caroline, I prayed for the Lord’s comfort. I asked for peace for the week, but begged him for temporary relief of my anxiety. I have experienced several recent doses of love directly from God. However, I find great comfort in the arms of those around me. Physical touch is crucial to my emotional health. Odd, but it is me. I need hugs, snuggles and head pats. Instead of God soothing me in alone time, He did what He had to get me into the arms of His love. Letting Caroline be a vessel of His compassion, was incredibly kind of Him. I joyfully accepted the love I received. The tangible relief of falling into a hug. Caroline’s motherly love and empathy. The sweet reminder of listening to words I know to be true but struggle to believe during a time like finals. Finals hurt my heart. Finals challenge not only my learning disabilities, as well as my anxiety and emotions.

“You Sparkle,” my heart instantly melted. It was affirming, yet again, that something might be seen in me than more than the identity of being a student. I am in fact more than a grade, I am more than my GPA, and I am more than a student. I am much more than a student and I hope to known for that. I hope to be known for hugs, love and laughter. I hope to known for being my true self and settling for nothing less. Including, restraining from the self-deprecating thought process whilst enduring a difficult course. It was a joy to hear that I might sparkle to someone around me, I am undeserving of such a compliment but whoah did it tickle my heart. Authenticity. Transparency. Human’s like it. It is relatable.

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Sleeveless turtlenecks can be paired with a short or long sleeved tee. Long sleeves create the illusion of a full sweater, while short sleeves allow the turtleneck to hold attention.

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Grandmother’s pug featured in le blog post. Pugs are the best accessories. I love a good prop, especially a silly one.

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Mastering the art of the turtleneck tuck. Slip into your turtleneck, leave your hair inside the sweater and slowly pull front pieces to frame your face.
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Momma’s words always with me. Xo. P.S Did you hear that naked nails are trending this winter? Giving my nails a break from gel, but missing polish.
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Golden hour and natural curls. Only a few products to tame the mane but tough to beat with the current humidity in Charleston!

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Miss new bootie. All about my new thigh highs! Winter must have.

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Photographed by Davy Kesey | | Charleston, SC

Wearing: Madewell turtleneck, Piko Tee w/ lace trim (similar), J Brand coated jeans (last season but similar here ) Stuart Weitzman Lowland Boot in black suede found at Charleston’s Bob Ellis, similar boots here, here and here.

Let’s Go Home – Part 1

Hey Friends!

Fall Break! A few days ago, I traveled to Europe to meet up with my cool mom in our sweet Budapest! I had originally planned to take a trip to the west coast, but somehow planned a trip to Hungary instead. Yolo, am I right? Budapest is dear to my heart, as crucial years of my childhood were spent there. Budapest with my mom is even better, and we were thrilled to take advantage of a few days off from school. I have been intensely missing my mom since she left the country not too long ago. The past few months have been challenging but have strengthened independence in myself as well as my mother. It is important to recognize the relationships of security in our lives, while maintaining an independent mindset. An unhealthy dependence on my mother will not help me grow, only hold me back. These times where my mom and I are living in different countries is usually hard on me, but always worth it. It is worth it because if not one but both of us are being challenged and our relationship is always revitalized in this process.

A few days before I ventured to Budapest I watched an endearing video from the Man Repeller, in which Leandra had the chance to chat with Diane Von Furstenberg. Diane shared some sweet advice about long distance relationships; she was referring to a romantic relationship but this can definitely be applied to all relationships with distance.

“Absence is to love what the wind is on the fire. It distinguishes the small one and amplifies the big one.“ -DVF

I thought about my mom and how much my love for her has grown since leaving for college. These international adventures of ours make me miss her more, and love her more. I realize the wise advice she has, the comfort of her hugs and the authenticity of her mother’s love. I am incredibly undeserving of her love but grateful.

I adore love. Everything about it warms my heart. The best part is, loving others. As much as I love, love; I have struggled with feeling and knowing that I am loved. I struggle with the idea that God loves me and have trouble believing others when they say they love me. Luckily, I have never doubted my mother’s love for me. I know without any hesitation, that the capacity she has to love me, is because she knows Christ and that intensifies her love by lightyears. It is not her love that fills me to the brim, it is God’s love; she just happens to be an incredibly lovely vessel of love.

The timing could not have been more perfect for my tattoo.

I have known for quite a few years that I am interested in tattoos. I used to fear the pain and then realized, I want one… or some. I slowly introduced the thought to my mother and she warmed up to it. She even knew the idea of this tattoo in May, but I honestly do not think she believed I could do it. I decided to surprise her in Budapest with a tattoo!

“I love you.” Written by my mother, engraved on my left wrist. Life has been testing me, and not feeling loved has taken a toll on my heart. From the moment I saw my tattoo, things have been different, my life has been full. It is weird and possibly a little crazy. When I saw it, i teared up and was overwhelmed with love. I had been praying for God to love me in whatever way He wanted to. I was frustrated with what I was turning to, so I asked Him to give me what I know He wants for me, in His way. I want to look at my wrist to be reminded of my mother’s love for me, which is only possible by Christ. I want to look at my tattoo, and strive to love others like my mom has loved me. I successfully surprised her, and she loved it. Her enthusiasm was fantastic, I love her so much.

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First look at the tattoo! A happy face with a joyful sensation. Truly felt like my mom whispered, “I Love you.” Pic by @davykesey 
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Fresh. Tat by the coolest cat, Mike. @elusive_ink 

D A Y 1 ~ A D V E N T U R E

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Day 1 Travel talk: I love international flights as they are a great comfort to me. I had a cozy outfit and packed a killer carry on. My carry on advice: good book, headphones, notebook, layers of cozy (I go to the extent of packing pj’s for international flights to encourage sleep) as well as a reasonably sized soft blanket because we all can agree that airplane blankets are nasty. OH and dietary restrictions, make sure to arrange beforehand with the airline or your travel agent. I had gluten free meals for my long flights and that is VERY important. I also come prepared with well packed snacks; including yummy cookies and good tea.

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Airbnb perfection!! My mom and I got a super cute apartment on the Buda side. It was a cozy studio that was the perfect combination of cute and euro randomness. Stairs were involved but it was nothing compared to my five floor walk up in New York this summer. The building was beautiful and the courtyard was especially stunning!

My first evening in Budapest was quiet as I was in a delirious lull thanks to jet lag. I took a long bath, nervously holding my arm out of the tub (tattoo) and then got nice and cozy for an evening walk. The air was bitter and it was bliss. Hungry and sleepy, I wandered until I found gluten free cereal and almond milk. Gluten free in Hungarian is gluténmentes and can also be noted as GM (otherwise GF Stateside). I hauled back to the flat and proceeded to eat my yummy cereal and rent a movie on itunes. I drifted into a happy slumber, thankful to be home in Budapest!

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Began my day with a strong attempt to get over jet lag by going on a run. That was after sleeping in way too late, however the run was intensely refreshing. Jet lag was and has been hell in a handbasket! Whole Foods sells homeopathic jet lag pills and I forgot to get them before I left and seriously regret it! Lesson learned my dears.

Soon after the run, my mom arrived from Oman! Check out her sick pics HERE! It was a happy reunion and I surprised her with the tattoo. She loved it, praise tha Lawd. After a few lazy hours, we ventured out. You will quickly realize, that our days began in the afternoon like a true vacation with jet lag.

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Afternoon: Déryné. I snuggled up in my poncho with my favorite tea. Fresh mint. Accompanied by a giant meringue. Few things I love more in the world than sitting by my mother at a cafe, and in Europe of course. 

Evening: After our indulgent afternoon tea and snack we ubered our way to the Pest side for dinner with friends. It was a happy reunion and our dinner was delicious. We went to The Vintage Garden and they were very sweet and respectful of the whole gluten free thing. I had goat cheese stuffed chicken and potatoes that were prepared in an especially Hungarian manner.

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D A Y 3 ~ S U N D A Y

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My mom hates taking outfit pictures for me, this will be a long battle for us! Wearing: Mango coat, Madewell scarf, Madewell jeans, Superga sneaks. LV tote. Vamped blonde by Ronnie at Swish

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Can you say Y U M?! I hope you can because you would hate to miss out on this comfort food action. Gluten free gnocchi with spinach and goat cheese. TG Italiano 

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Gnocchi at TG Italiano. Goat cheese & spinach. Still drooling. 
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October yenno?!
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Mommy daughter sneaks.
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Madewell has all of my money. The scarf

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We love the yellow line. Old School Budapest.
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Swan Lake at the Opera House 

How to end an already perfect Sunday? See a ballet. Swan Lake at the Hungarian Opera House. The gorgeous costumes and ornate set were sensational. We managed to snag great seats and couldn’t have had a better time. This was my first experience seeing Swan Lake and I have to say it was an intriguing interpretation that led to great post-performance conversation. I am happy I seized that opportunity to be inspired! What a day.


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Magical. 

Will post Part 2 in a few days. Can’t wait to show you more pictures and share more adventures. I am so grateful for this trip. I am so grateful for my international adventures. Budapest is home, what a life, thank you God.

Iphone photography by myself, Davy for the tats and my mom on random occasions

Snapchat @hannyebr  

IG: @therealhannybee

Contact: therealhannybee@gmail.com

How to Grow Up

Pic 3- ME Davy

How to Grow Up

“Andie Anderson, How to Girl!” If that did not pop into your head when you read the title, you my friend, have yet to live. For you sweet under-educated darlings, that is a quote from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It is a classic. I attribute the film with many good memories, which really only makes the film better in my eyes. For one, it makes me think of one of my best friends, Mika.

As you may know, I am interning in New York City for the summer. Living here has completely changed my routine, and I am one hundred percent not lying when I say, “I’m busy”. In pursuit of a peaceful escape, this past weekend I ventured to Maine. Working and attempting to thrive in the city can be exhausting and I am SO thankful to have Maine. I have had Maine my entire life, and never appreciated it like I have this summer. Waking up to the waves crashing and a soft sea breeze is overwhelmingly calming. My first weekend in Maine this summer, I spent an entire day in my pajamas. I had several cups of tea, a book, and family. I sat on the patio, gazing at the ocean in a way that I never have before. So much comfort lied in the ocean’s R E A L depth. Gods creation should never be taken for granted, and I am glad I am able to truly soak in the beauty of his handiwork. I cannot place why it is instinctively relaxing to exist in His natural creation. Stepping away from the responsibilities of adulthood- temporary adulthood at least- and emerging into bliss has been nothing but fulfilling. It is not just taking a Friday off to not work; it is taking the time to remember the reality of being an adult. Being an adult is spending time with yourself. It is understanding how YOU, as an individual are going to come into the real world. I am understanding, that a full time job, is very difficult to manage. It is hard to manage other aspects of my life that I equally enjoy. It is helping me to figure out how I can create a healthy, creative and prosperous life for my sensitive soul.

I had a hiccup with my drive into adulthood this past weekend in Maine. Usually at this time of the year, I am in Maine with Mika. My crazy little best friend. This year, along with several other shakes of adulthood, she was and is not going to be in Maine. We usually have an entire long, luxurious, and stupidly lazy week to ourselves. We get to tan, eat food, watch movies, go on adventures and then watch another movie. Not having this youthful fun was difficult to ignore how it made me feel like even more of an adult. It is more difficult because she has spent the summer in Finland, with people whom I dearly love.

A cluster of my favorite people were in Helsinki, Finland this July and not being there was a challenge. It was a challenge because I flipping love Helsinki. I love the city, the culture, and most importantly the people. I love my friends, the church and the youth ministry. When I realized that working this summer meant I would not be able to join my friends, I tried to be as grownup as possible. I would say, apart from some meltdowns, I have done a good job. Going back to the meltdowns is the more difficult of the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that I experienced these past few weeks. I was comforted by knowing that I was supposed to stay in the city and not make the trip over there THIS summer. I can make several lists with an assorted category of reasons why I wanted to be there, but you just need to know, that I really wanted to be. I do not know why, but I know that God did not need me there, He needed me here.

He needed me here to experience undeserving love and blessings. This summer has been extraordinary and wildly unexpected in every aspect. I knew I was landing myself a full time internship but I did not know how that would send me into a tailspin of future oriented thoughts and discussions. I knew I was capable of making friends but had no idea I was going to be blessed with endless love and fellowship. I knew I loved to laugh but did not expect for laughter to follow me into the workplace, throughout my commute and intertwined in all of my friendships. I am okay with occasionally not going on a trip if it means letting God do the unexpected. Following His lead, permits His work to be done separate from my own agenda.

I’ve weaved through Maine, New York City and Finland, but it all leads to one thing. I am growing up. I am forced to leave behind traditions and trips that I have grown up with and even recently added to my life. I am also confronted with adjusting to new environments, jobs and people- constantly. I am letting go of the safety of young comforts. I am challenged to strengthen my faith. I am confident I will be in Maine again, being lazy with my loved ones and watching movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I know that just because I am growing up, does not restrict me to any particular lifestyle. I am young, and blessed with time to create a lifestyle that suits Hannah Rice. I really did not tell you how to grow up, I really just told you how I am imperfectly surviving and still striving for a joyful life. Growing up is a twisted fate we are all faced to endure. I refuse to grow up in any traditional way, and follow a norm that does not agree with the desires of my heart. Grow up at your pace; leaving room for your heart, mishaps and faith to be sorted out with the timing they deserve.

Thank you for your support, texts and kind words. I am finishing up this summer strong and I am being equipped with masterfully curated joy. Thank you, if you have loved me this summer, because it has not gone unnoticed.

Xoxo H

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Pictures by Davy Kesey | Photographed in Cape Neddick, Maine

Wearing: Flannel (Moms Vermont thrift store find), Madewell Tee: sold out (other colors, similar & similar), Frame Denim jeans & Soludos x Jason Polan

Hair: Color by Ronnie at Swish, Products: B&B Surf Spray, Grooming Creme

Summer Daze in a Denim Craze

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This ensemble is perfect for feeling stylish when life does not feel it. I am wearing these overalls while being productive with a chai latte and I am incredibly comfortable! It is a bit chilly in Charleston right now and these overalls are keeping me cozy!

Next week, another semester will be completed. To say I am excited, is an understatement. I have probably said it far too frequently, but this semester has been intensely academic. I have been blessed with lots of laughter and adventures to get through the semester, but meanwhile have seriously considered leaving school. I am following through, knowing that it is ultimately the right decision. My mom has been overwhelmingly supportive and encouraging of me and my pursuit of a degree. She is well aware that school is not my thing, but out of my best interest, wants me to finish. I frequently find myself finding the easy way out, but not today, not this semester at least. Anyways, prayers appreciated as I attempt to finish the semester.

My tips for a great finals week:

Stay fed: I went to whole foods yesterday and prepared myself with an assortment of fruits, veggies and chicken. Along with some great snacks that will keep me feeling energetic. Interested in a post about healthy food? Let me know!

Stay active: Kickboxing has been fueling me with energy, along with long walks along the battery with my dear roommate. Our evening walks usually last an hour and we are able to catch up, de-stress and be re-energized.

Leave the house: Currently at Black Tap Coffee, It always helps me to be productive outside of my house. I will be nestled with almond chai lattes at various coffee shops with intermittent breaks at the library during these crazy days. Go me.

Diminish Distraction: This week, I am majorly cutting down on time spent watching tv. Reading instead because I am eager to finish my book. However you should take a trip to see Age of Adaline, a film for dreamers and romantics.

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Tory Burch branching out

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Look a little bee, just like me!

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Photographed by Brooke Bishop. Charleston, South Carolina: Upper King and The Daily

Zara top: (purchased January in Budapest) Alternatives: Asos tank, Asos cropped tee, Madewell overalls, Chuck Taylor high-topsSunnies ℅ See Eyewear, Tory Burch toteFinicky FillyPeyton William necklaces, Rifle Paper co. case

Overall of this Coachella Lust

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Overalls are bold and back in action. Purchasing these overalls was a commitment. It is a seemingly trendy purchase but I firmly believe that sometimes that move needs to be made. I slipped into the overalls at Madewell after I had seen them advertised, and I fell in love. I had mixed reactions from my friends when I sent snaps of my hopeful purchase. From some friends whose advice I take seriously were not as enthused as I had expected. However, I like the overalls. I liked the style, feel and fit. I should get them right? I think you should value your friends opinions when you shop, but I think there is a line. You need to make bold fashion decisions, regardless of what some might think. I feel adventurous in these overalls and I am unashamed of this buy! This denim revolution is going to last longer than expected, I will definitely be living in these overalls now that this look is published!

This bohemian ensemble is obviously festival inspired. If you peeked at social media last weekend, you were most likely bombarded with glamorous instagram posts and outrageous snapchat stories thanks to Coachella. I was absolutely lusting for a boho adventure after discovering some gorgeous pictures. I am in a festival mood and I need to hear some live music ASAP. Coachella is very appealing to me. It is really amazing how it has evolved and the festival is a one of a kind runway. Most festival ensembles can get fairly raunchy but Coachella has established its own style. The second and final weekend of Coachella is beginning today and I will pretend I am there whilst instagram stalking. Check out the sick lineup for weekend two HERE! One day I will get myself to Coachella and it will be amazing. Keep dreaming my loves. Xo

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Photographed by Brooke Bishop. Charleston, South Carolina.

Wearing:

Flower Crown from Flowershop at Mixson, Madewell Skinny Overalls, Boho top (purchased years ago)

{Similar: Alice + Olivia tank, Reverse top Stone_Cold_Fox Charlie Blouse, Lenni Blouse, Ella Moss Blouse, Line & Dot Blouse}

Jeffrey Campbell Heels, Tory Burch Cross-Body ℅ The Finicky Filly, Necklace ℅ Peyton William JewelrySunglasses ℅ See Eyewear

A few of my favorite Coachella looks from last weekend:

Danielle Bernstein Coachella

Danielle Bernstein via Vogue

Bella Hadid Coachella

Bella Hadid via Vogue

Kate Greer and Cleo Wade- HB

Kate Greer and Cleo Wade via Harper’s Bazaar 

Kate Bosworth- vogue

Kate Bosworth via Vogue

Kate Bosworth Coachella

Kate Bosworth via Vogue

Gigi Hadid 2- Elle

Gigi Hadid via Vogue

Margot- HB

Margot via Harper’s Bazaar

Strolling Ladies- Elle

Gaggle of girls via Elle

Gigi Hadid and Cody Simpson- Elle

Cody Simpson and Gigi Hadid via Elle ^ relationship goals

Gigi Hadid- Elle

Gigi Hadid via Elle

Spring Break: Third Culture Kid Edition

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Budapest, March 2015

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I hate the, “Where are you from?” I guess I have to say Baltimore, but I wince. “I’m sort of a nomad…” and I shrug my shoulders. After living in Budapest, Hungary for five and a half years, my mom and I moved to Baltimore, Maryland. However, I never found myself settled in Baltimore. I struggled as a young kid and developing young adult to truly adapt to the culture. In middle school, we decided to homeschool and we ventured around the globe. I began traveling on my own, and visited friends internationally as well as stateside. During that time, we spent a brief few months in Ghana, and I became acquainted with yet another culture. I continued on by spending all four years of high school in Baltimore, and then was anxious to hustle out and get myself to college.

Where am I from? I do not know. Struggles of a Nomad. Struggles of a missionary kid. Struggles of a Third Culture Kid. I associate many places with home. My earliest memories, rest in Budapest. In order to walk by my preschool, I have to get on a plane. Is that weird? Can you understand how strange that is for me? I left Budapest, but I really never moved on. One should not have to forget the joy I experienced. My time as a child in Budapest was blessed- filled with laughter and love. It was truly unique, and I hope to live through another experience as transcending as my childhood.

Touch down in Budapest for a few days of my spring break, and a roller coaster of feels progressed. The Lord took me to Europe this spring break, it was Him for sure. It was a touch overwhelming. I was in a distracted and excited environment of a conference. I was seeing friends from all over, and people from my childhood. I walked into church and ran into a friend, she hustled over to give me a hug and I was choked up by memories. I was tossed back into my childhood environment. Quickly realizing how difficult the next few days would be without my mom, I knew I had to brace myself for the adjustment.

Sociologist David C. Pollock defines A Third Culture Kid as, “a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture.” My experience as a Third Culture Kid has left me with little stability, a constant need to be on the move, and discomfort in my parent culture. That might all sound horrendous, but it is actually my norm. It leads me to a different life than most, and it has brought me incredible experiences that most would not have the opportunity to understand.

Understanding my life as a Third Culture Kid:

  • Jet lag. When I was little I would cry because I thought it was a monster, I did not understand. Turns out it is a monster.
  • Planes are a comfort zone. From my airport arrival routine, to the cozy blanket always packed for the plane- I’ve got it down. I always come prepared with snacks, books and magazines. I lurve it.
  • My weather app: Does not solely consist of my current element. I am always on the lookout to see how cold it is Helsinki or gray in Budapest.
  • I frequently play the, “In this time, if I was in Europe…” I would be sleeping, or eating or… I find myself imagining the time of another country than my own.
  • Currency. I grew up on the Hungarian Forint. How about you?
  • I have great friends all over the world. I’m continuing to create new global friendships #cantstop #wontstop
  • I get confused as to which direction the faucets will emerge hot or cold. It takes a minute for me to adjust in any country that I am in, and I currently have to keep asking my roommate which way turns the kitchen faucet scalding hot.
  • The lack of a traditional shower in a non-U.S bathroom does not phase me.
  • Public transport is preferable to cars. I have the best car, but I love a good metro journey.
  • My passport is always close to me. Get me outta here! (The U.S)
  • I am more comfortable in cultures outside of my own, and I have more trouble adjusting to cultural norms from “my own,” country of the U.S. Reverse-culture shock, whenever I come “home.”
  • Few things cause me as much anxiety as, “Where are you from?” I would much rather you not ask me. Have you seen the grimace?

I am attempting to convey, that the lifestyle of being on the move is a blessing. It is also partially motivated by experiences that few can relate to. In my more recent years, motivation of simply seeing the world has been changed to connect to my global friendships and desires for international missions. I can explore for days, drink hot chocolate until my tongue is burnt and roam unique shops forever- but my exploration of God’s globe is bigger than myself. Nearing my senior year of college, (sidenote: Holy Crap?!) I am realizing that real life is not only coming soon, but is happening now. Responsibilities, career goals and life on the mission field are resting heavily on my heart. I aspire to a full life. Which I surely know I already experience. My heart is content- yet as an evolving adult, I will always be adapting to my future. I hope this insight of my personal life can further explain qualities about myself, or give you a better understanding about my adventures.

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Budapest, March 2015

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Budapest, March 2015

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Budapest, March 2015

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Budapest, March 2015

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Budapest, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015

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Innsbruck, March 2015