How to Grow Up
“Andie Anderson, How to Girl!” If that did not pop into your head when you read the title, you my friend, have yet to live. For you sweet under-educated darlings, that is a quote from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It is a classic. I attribute the film with many good memories, which really only makes the film better in my eyes. For one, it makes me think of one of my best friends, Mika.
As you may know, I am interning in New York City for the summer. Living here has completely changed my routine, and I am one hundred percent not lying when I say, “I’m busy”. In pursuit of a peaceful escape, this past weekend I ventured to Maine. Working and attempting to thrive in the city can be exhausting and I am SO thankful to have Maine. I have had Maine my entire life, and never appreciated it like I have this summer. Waking up to the waves crashing and a soft sea breeze is overwhelmingly calming. My first weekend in Maine this summer, I spent an entire day in my pajamas. I had several cups of tea, a book, and family. I sat on the patio, gazing at the ocean in a way that I never have before. So much comfort lied in the ocean’s R E A L depth. Gods creation should never be taken for granted, and I am glad I am able to truly soak in the beauty of his handiwork. I cannot place why it is instinctively relaxing to exist in His natural creation. Stepping away from the responsibilities of adulthood- temporary adulthood at least- and emerging into bliss has been nothing but fulfilling. It is not just taking a Friday off to not work; it is taking the time to remember the reality of being an adult. Being an adult is spending time with yourself. It is understanding how YOU, as an individual are going to come into the real world. I am understanding, that a full time job, is very difficult to manage. It is hard to manage other aspects of my life that I equally enjoy. It is helping me to figure out how I can create a healthy, creative and prosperous life for my sensitive soul.
I had a hiccup with my drive into adulthood this past weekend in Maine. Usually at this time of the year, I am in Maine with Mika. My crazy little best friend. This year, along with several other shakes of adulthood, she was and is not going to be in Maine. We usually have an entire long, luxurious, and stupidly lazy week to ourselves. We get to tan, eat food, watch movies, go on adventures and then watch another movie. Not having this youthful fun was difficult to ignore how it made me feel like even more of an adult. It is more difficult because she has spent the summer in Finland, with people whom I dearly love.
A cluster of my favorite people were in Helsinki, Finland this July and not being there was a challenge. It was a challenge because I flipping love Helsinki. I love the city, the culture, and most importantly the people. I love my friends, the church and the youth ministry. When I realized that working this summer meant I would not be able to join my friends, I tried to be as grownup as possible. I would say, apart from some meltdowns, I have done a good job. Going back to the meltdowns is the more difficult of the FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that I experienced these past few weeks. I was comforted by knowing that I was supposed to stay in the city and not make the trip over there THIS summer. I can make several lists with an assorted category of reasons why I wanted to be there, but you just need to know, that I really wanted to be. I do not know why, but I know that God did not need me there, He needed me here.
He needed me here to experience undeserving love and blessings. This summer has been extraordinary and wildly unexpected in every aspect. I knew I was landing myself a full time internship but I did not know how that would send me into a tailspin of future oriented thoughts and discussions. I knew I was capable of making friends but had no idea I was going to be blessed with endless love and fellowship. I knew I loved to laugh but did not expect for laughter to follow me into the workplace, throughout my commute and intertwined in all of my friendships. I am okay with occasionally not going on a trip if it means letting God do the unexpected. Following His lead, permits His work to be done separate from my own agenda.
I’ve weaved through Maine, New York City and Finland, but it all leads to one thing. I am growing up. I am forced to leave behind traditions and trips that I have grown up with and even recently added to my life. I am also confronted with adjusting to new environments, jobs and people- constantly. I am letting go of the safety of young comforts. I am challenged to strengthen my faith. I am confident I will be in Maine again, being lazy with my loved ones and watching movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I know that just because I am growing up, does not restrict me to any particular lifestyle. I am young, and blessed with time to create a lifestyle that suits Hannah Rice. I really did not tell you how to grow up, I really just told you how I am imperfectly surviving and still striving for a joyful life. Growing up is a twisted fate we are all faced to endure. I refuse to grow up in any traditional way, and follow a norm that does not agree with the desires of my heart. Grow up at your pace; leaving room for your heart, mishaps and faith to be sorted out with the timing they deserve.
Thank you for your support, texts and kind words. I am finishing up this summer strong and I am being equipped with masterfully curated joy. Thank you, if you have loved me this summer, because it has not gone unnoticed.
Pictures by Davy Kesey | Photographed in Cape Neddick, Maine